America is currently spending tens of millions of dollars on developing a bomb that is capable of penetrating and destroying Iranian nuclear facilities deep within the country's mountain ranges¹.
A nuclear strike would of course be more than enough to do the job, but even unscrupulous America would be incapable of delivering such a ironic plan as to use nuclear warfare to stop a hypothesised nuclear war, so they set Lockheed Martin and AFRL the task of developing a large conventional bomb to do the task.
Now a new radical new idea has sprung forth from the crazy minds of US' military R&D*: they plan to turn Kim Kardashian's buttocks into a Massive Ordnance Penetrator (MOP).
The military scientists believe that due to the size and consistency of the celebrities rear (denser than Plutonium), a drop from above the stratosphere would result in a 50 megaton explosion and an impact crater 2 miles in diameter. Tests are currently being run to see if there is a risk of nuclear fallout being released from the "KD" (Kardashian Device). They say there is a small chance of a toxic release on the way down.
¹https://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424052970203363504577187420287098692
²Rear-search and Development
content originally published: June, 2012
